The Sexiness of constant growth and Why It’s WRONG!
A story of personal development and Its Impact on my psyche
There are times when I can’t help but feel like a programmed automaton, fixated on just one thing:
Growth.
I find myself constantly pushing to improve, yet deep down, true happiness eludes me. I’ve often wondered what I’m doing wrong, but I know one thing for sure — I am trying my best.
My room’s walls are plastered with reminders of the things I must do to foster personal growth. It’s as if my entire existence revolves around this singular pursuit.
But in my journey, I’ve come to realize that one reason we feel this way is that our culture is obsessed with relentless progress and development. If we can’t measure up to the standards set by the media or society’s expectations, we are made to believe that we are fundamentally flawed. But is that really the case?
In this heartfelt exploration, I aim to delve into the intricate dance of personal development and its impact on my psyche (and yours probably!)
Why has growth assumed such paramount importance in our lives?
Let us rewind the tape for a few centuries. Imagine yourself dwelling in an agrarian society, where your daily activities revolve around tending to your land, conversing with neighbors, and sowing seeds of fruitfulness. In that era, devoid of modern technology, our awareness of the world beyond our immediate vicinity was limited.
So, even if someone in a neighboring village had a more fertile plot of land or led a seemingly better life, we remained blissfully unaware. There was no basis for comparison, and thus, contentment enveloped us. Put simply, there was no yardstick against which we measured ourselves.
The Age of Technology: A Relentless Pursuit of Growth and Productivity
Fast forward to the present — a time marked by technological marvels and an interconnected world facilitated by smartphones and laptops. And what does this constant connectivity bring forth?
That’s right — countless glimpses of successful individuals, who appear to be faring better than us in various aspects of life, be it wealth, accomplishments, or overall well-being.
It matters little whether these glimpses represent reality or mere illusions; what truly matters is that we “see” and “feel” others outshining us.
Inevitably, we begin to question ourselves and our existence. Why is my life not on par with theirs? This is the turning point where we convince ourselves that striving, growing, and progressing is essential to achieve that coveted state of fulfillment. But is this assumption correct?
Unveiling the Veiled: The Dark Side of the Personal Development Industry
The personal growth industry, with its estimated worth of around 11 billion dollars, is projected to reach a staggering 14 billion by 2025. With each passing day, more and more individuals are drawn into the allure of this glittering realm of self-improvement.
Books, videos, training courses — this industry has infiltrated every sphere of life. Yet, the darker side of this industry often remains unspoken. It promises to fix every aspect of our lives, from bad habits to flawed appearances, from meager incomes to sour moods.
Personal development, in its essence, is the process of improving oneself to reach one’s full potential and lead a more fulfilling life. It encompasses various aspects such as self-awareness, emotional intelligence, goal setting, and acquiring new skills. However, like any other endeavor, personal development has its dark side when pursued in a toxic or unhealthy manner.
One of the main issues arises when personal development becomes an obsession rather than a balanced pursuit. When individuals become overly fixated on self-improvement, they may lose sight of their own well-being and become consumed by the need for constant progress.
This constant pressure to achieve more can lead to stress, burnout, and a sense of never being good enough. Instead of feeling empowered, individuals may start to feel overwhelmed and dissatisfied with themselves.
Another aspect of toxic growth in personal development is the tendency to compare oneself to others. With the rise of social media and the curated representations of people’s lives, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing one’s progress to that of others.
This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and a constant need for validation. Instead of focusing on personal growth, individuals may become consumed by external measures of success, which can be detrimental to their mental health.
Wisdom from the East: A Different Perspective on Growth
Philosophy has been instrumental in shifting my perceptions on numerous subjects. In my quest, I stumbled upon a stark contrast between Western and Eastern philosophies regarding our way of life.
Discovering “Wu Wei”: The Chinese Philosophy of Non-Action
Wu Wei, loosely translated as “not doing” or “doing nothing” in Chinese, holds a special place in my heart. Initially, the concept may conjure up images of laziness or apathy, but in truth, it represents one of the most profound and invaluable teachings of Daoist philosophy.
According to the Daoist scripture, Dao De Jing: “The Way never acts, yet nothing is left undone.” This paradox lies at the heart of Wu Wei. It does not imply non-action, but rather “effortless action” or “action without action.”
Now, what does all this truly entail?
In essence, Wu Wei calls for a state of calm amidst the chaos of life — a state in which we can perform our tasks with utmost skill and efficiency.
Unraveling the power of relaxation in attaining our goals
Wu Wei intertwines harmoniously with the Daoist reverence for the natural world. It beckons us to align our behaviors with the spontaneity and inevitability found in natural processes. It urges us to swim with the currents rather than fight against them.
Wu Wei invites us to release the shackles of ideals we impose forcefully upon everything. The perpetual pursuit of growth and progress, when taken to extreme measures, becomes a form of violence — an attempt to force everything to conform to our desired trajectory. But life is not a one-way journey toward perpetual growth; it flows with its own rhythm, and by resisting that flow, we invite discord into our lives.
A New Perspective: What Should We Do Instead?
We must recognize that our self-worth is not contingent on our achievements alone. In my view, the art of living lies in accepting our shortcomings and embracing the challenges life presents. When we embrace this truth and understand that certain things are beyond our control, a profound sense of peace washes over us.
It is from this place of tranquility that we can nurture our lofty aspirations. However, this time, with a crucial difference:
To recognize that personal growth and improvement are not the ultimate objectives of our existence.
Capturing the essence of this Article
It’s important to note that the purpose of this article is not to discredit the value of growth and development. Instead, it aims to shed light on the potential pitfalls of an excessive and expectation-laden approach to personal growth, which can disrupt our well-being.
Additionally, it’s crucial to understand that individuals who prioritize continuous growth and improvement are not inherently flawed. They can serve as inspiring examples, guiding us as we measure our own progress.
Finally, it’s essential to acknowledge that this article reflects my personal experiences and may not universally apply, be helpful, or be easily understood by everyone.
This article is a collaborative endeavor, and your input will contribute to its completion.
Given the controversial nature of this topic, it’s natural for a range of opinions to emerge — both positive and negative. I am genuinely curious to hear your perspective. So, now it’s your turn. What are your thoughts on personal growth and development within the confines of mental pressures? What has your own experience taught you?
